So The Karate Kid is the number one movie in America — and features no karate. It’s really the kung-fu kid.
Once you’ve crossed that bridge, why not actually reinvent the film with some ferocious Hebrew-style fighting. The Krav-Maga Kid — now that I would have paid a shekel or two to see.
Nothing like some good old Jew-jitsu
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged fighting, IDL, Karate Kid, krav-maga, martial arts, movie
Since when does a nice Jewish girl have to go to Abu Dhabi meet an old flame? Normally all you need to do is wait until you catch him lighting a Yahrzeit candle, offer him some Kleenex and kugel, and you’re in.
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Abu Dhabi, kugel, mourning, movie, Sex and the City, Yahrzeit candle
So now it’s cool to be a regular guy who thinks like, dresses like, acts like a superhero?
Apparently zero-to-hero films like Kick-Ass have been inspiring comic geeks to dress up like Spiderman and catch criminals.
So why hasn’t Curb Your Enthusiasm (episode 19) encouraged more Jews to dress up like Larry David and break up baptisms?
Don't worry, here comes Super-Yid!
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged baptism, comics, conversion, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Kick-Ass, Larry David, movie, super heroes, tv
Listen, Sandra, we didn’t actually think you were a Nazi just because you married a guy who seems to be one and has an obsession with them.
You certainly didn’t need to adopt a midget version of your Blind Slide co-star to drive the point home.
Does she think she's holding up her Razzie?
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged anti-semitism, Blind Side, Jesse James, movie, Nazi, Sandra Bullock
Thanks to that Al Pacino movie, Jack Kevorkian is back preaching about killing old people. Listen up, Dr. Death, I’m taking every last breath I can — if only to suck oxygen away from that chaleria next door at the alter kocker home. Hey, Mrs. Lowenthal, my grandkids love me, too, they’re just no so gauche about it.
When you want to off yourself, hoo-ah you gonna call?
Amidst the dissolution of Sandra Bullock’s marriage, there’s been a lot of speculation about an Oscar curse. The upshot: Oscars ruin marriages.
I couldn’t agree more. Oscar ruined my marriage, too. I was always more of a Hebrew National guy — the ex liked Oscar Meyer. Sad when you think about it. But, then again, we should have both seen it coming.
My divorce has a first name -- it's O-S-C-A-R
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged baloney, Hebrew National, marriage, movie, Oscars, Sandra Bullock
When he stole Keith Richards’ shtick for Pirates, he gave the man credit. Well, we’ve seen Alice in Wonderland and what’s Jackie Mason — chopped liver? Until Johnny Depp gives Jackie some love, we have to say he’s strictly a goniff .
You know what the difference between Jews and Jabberwocks is...
No, I’m not being dramatic.
Barbara Walters is no longer doing her pre-Oscar special. This year is her last — after that, kaput.
BTW, she's 80. This isn't a joke -- just amazing.
How can this happen? What kind of world would allow this? I haven’t seen an actual Oscar telecast in 25 years (that Johnny Carson just seemed fresh), but the lead-up was like the best mah jong game of the year. Every year.
Now? I have this taste in my mouth like a pastrami sandwich with mayo. Feh.
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Barbara Walters, Hollywood, Joan Rivers, movie, Oscars
New Hollywood? Traditionally, “Hollywood” has always been a euphemism for Jewish — does this mean they’re trying to get rid of the Yids? Given the Aryan assortment on the cover, I fear the answer is yeh. The only possible Hebrew is Mia Wasikowska, and I think she’s legitimately “just Polish.” At least she appeared in that Nazi-fighting movie, Defiance. You know, the one that starred Daniel Craig and Billy Elliot as the worst fake yids since Brendan Fraser in School Ties. New Hollywood indeed.
Not a Queen Esther in the bunch.
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Billy Elliot, Daniel Craig, Hollywood, Mia Wasikowska, movie, Nazi, Polish, School Ties, Vanity Fair
So, Mel Gibson makes a movie that shows the Jews killing Christ, and it’s a box office smash. The Brits make one about a goy scientist killing God, and the theaters are empty?
Jennifer Connelly's forgettable husband
 | Carlos on Who’s Giving Us a Bad Na… |
 | Shmuel Kazanzky on Casual Anti-Semitism of the We… |
 | Mike on Who’s Giving Us a Bad Na… |
 | SW Stout on Trayf of the Week: Bacon Love… |
 | Someone on Who’s Giving Us a Bad Na… |
