Tag Archives: trayf

Trayf of the Week: This Guy

A cured pork tramp stamp in the shape of a cross?!  Clearly this guy was in the running for TotW.

But here’s what puts him over the top — it’s upside-down.

I have a strong suspicion he did this to himself.  Now that’s dedication to the trayf.

I hear Herr Pope has the same one...

Trayf of the Week?: The BP Oil Spill

Leviticus 11:9. Look it up.

I try not to get involved in the environment.   I figure if a bunch of great minds — plus the maritally-challenged Al Gore — can’t solve it, they don’t need this Yid’s meddling.

But the oil spill in the gulf is out of control.  Literally.  I’ve heard people call it Biblical.  This got me thinking.  What if, through the oil and wreckage, shrimp begin to mutate and grow fins and scales?

You know how there are people who think the Holocaust was redeemed through the creation of the State of Israel?  Maybe this whole messy megillah can be redeemed through making shrimp Kosher!

Trayf of the Week: “Traif”

Williamsburg, Brooklyn — ground-zero in the battle of Old vs. New World annoyance — has given birth to the third rail of Heeby fressing: a new restaurant called “Traif.”

Ordinarily, we’d be up in arms… but we converted to Southern Baptist the moment we saw the strawberry-cinnamon glazed pork ribs on the menu.

If you're going to eat the pig, why make it so cute?

Trayf of the Week: Bacon-scented candles

Worst shabbat candles ever.

l'had'lik neir shel trayf

Canadians

43% of Canadians prefer bacon to sex.  I think in the metric system that’s a majority.  This once again proves my thesis: there are no Jews in Canada.

Better than sex? Only if it's with my wife.

Trayf of the Week: Mobile slaughterhouse

For those who need pork when they need it, Washington State now has a mobile slaughterhouse.  Because, sometimes, you just can’t wait to get back to the abattoir to enjoy the unclean blood of pigs.

This woman is called "The Pig Lady." Of this she is proud.

Trayf of the Week: 9/11 Luau

A Canadian lawmaker has been advertising his pig roast fundraiser with images of the smoldering twin towers.  Some think this smacks of anti-Semitism — but it’s not like he’s using images of Jews burning to death to promote eating trayf.

Wait?  That’s kind of exactly what he’s doing?  Yeah, we don’t like that guy.

Trayf of the Week: Pork in the land of milk and honey

At some point after they were chased from Anatevka, our Russian brethren realized they might be better off in Eretz Yisrael.  But apparently the more recent immigrants have some issues with leaving mother Russia behind.  They’ve brought the language, freaky Putin fandom, and a whole bunch of pork.  The diaspora has come back home…

Tres trayf

Trayf of the Week: Schnitzel the Boar

How Biblical...

The only thing less Kosher than eating a pig is lying down with one.

But apparently man’s best friend doesn’t care.

If it were any cuter… it would still be verboten.

Trayf of the week: Pig to Human Lung Transplants

In case you’ve missed it, there’s a bit of bacon-mania going on these days.  Bacon chocolate, bacon doughnuts, bacon potato chips…and now bacon vital organs?  Great.

Should I ever be unlucky enough to need a new lung, I’ll only be allowed in my own house on a paper plate.

The smugness of the non-ruminating beast has gotten out of hand.